Disneyland 2014

Last weekend we took a family vacation as a family of 3 to California Adventures and Disneyland. The trip was mainly to celebrate Taylor turning 4, but it was also the last planned trip we will have as a family of 3. As happy and anxious as I am to complete our family, I was filled with bittersweet emotions thinking about how our lives are again about to change forever... But at least it's for the good. We've gotten very used to our lives with one child. And so has our child. She is very used to having all the attention. And, while I know that all kids experience change when a sibling comes along, I just hope and pray that Taylor adjusts. This little girl is our world. And, I want nothing more than for her to feel happy, loved, and included.

The trip started out rainy and wet. Ponchos and umbrellas were a must. But, we made the most of it, and took our time enjoying Taylor's early birthday celebration at Ariel's Grotto. 

I love Ariel's Grotto. Although, it's rather expensive, the food is pretty darn good. And, the princess experience can't be beat when you have a princess obsessed little one. We did this last year and she still talks about it. 

My butternut squash soup 

Tri-tip, mashed potatoes, and roasted veggies. 

The second day was spent at Disneyland. The weather was beautiful and full of sunshine. Taylor's favorite part of the whole trip was meeting Elsa and Anna from Frozen..... TWICE! 

I was a little nervous attempting Disneyland at 30 weeks pregnant, but overall it was totally worth it.  My body held up pretty well, and seeing the excitement on my little princess's face with each new attraction was well worth it. 

I did have a lot of flashback memories of our trip last year that were difficult to process.  Immediately before this trip last year, I had to have an unexpected D&C to get rid of a pregnancy that I thought was already gone.  This time last year was a very dark, depressing, and physically painful time for my family and I.  It's hard to sit here and not sob uncontrollably  about the hurt and bitterness I still feel towards that time of our lives.  I was in so much pain both physically and emotionally at Disneyland last year, that it felt overwhelmingly amazing to be there this year.  30 weeks pregnant.  With my best friend, my favorite little girl in the whole wide world, and a nearly 3lb miracle kicking inside of me.  There were certain places and events throughout our trip that triggered ill feelings from last year.  We went past the bench that I broke down sobbing on because I just couldn't come to terms with what was going on at that time, and I instantly got a lump in my throat and tears in my eyes.  One, because it's hard to let go of the hurt, even though I try.  Two, because I was so happy to walk past that bench now on the other side of infertility.  Oh the difference a year makes.