$481 dollars later

Yesterday, I made the trek down to see Dr. B and the crew at Fertility and Surgical Associates of CA for what I thought would be the last time by myself.  I was in such a positive mood on the way down there.  I made my routine call to my SIL and was commenting on how positive I was at the moment...When I got there, I was asked my birthday before my blood draw... "January 13, 1985" I said.  "Oh, that's coming up, what are your plans?" Asked the nurse.  My reply was "I haven't made any big plans because I could possibly be here with you guys." Sometimes, I think I should just pull our travel trailer down to their parking lot and live there for the rest of January. 

Then, it was time for my 1,000,000th vaginal u/s and 150th blood draw. I'm starting to realize that I spread my legs more for Dr. B these days than I do for Jake :0  Gag.  Anywho, I had about 8 follies that ranged in size from 14-17mm, and then another 4-6 that ranged from 10-12mm.  I had a feeling from Dr. B's lack of excitement that he expected more.  I glanced away from the u/s screen to check his reaction while fishing around in my body with a giant stick.  He had a look of disappointment, and my heart sank.  But, after he reviewed the numbers and sizes the nurse had recorded, he said everything looked good.  He said I'm "right down the middle, everything looks normal." But...... I would need to come back for one more checkup u/s & blood work before triggering and he wanted to push the ER back to Friday, possibly Saturday.  These were the original dates anyways, so everyone including myself was fine with that.  This means, I would need one more day's worth of injections though.  I texted my good friend and told her I had to get more meds, and as long as it was under $500 I would be okay with it.  $481 later, I walked out the door still in shock that 3 teeny tiny shots could cost $481!!!! Whatevs, it's done and over with, and I was going to pay for them no matter what. 

I know that none of this is super bad news, and frankly, everything is going just as planned.  But, it still changed my mood from positive to debbie downer.  This whole process is just a huge roller coaster of emotions.  Shit, the whole journey of TTC is a giant roller coaster of emotions. Today, I'm back to my positive outlook, although that fear of failure likes to pop in my brain every time I get excited.  GET OUT FEAR....LET ME ENJOY THIS JOURNEY, WOULD YA?!?!?

I go back tomorrow for hopefully my last checkup u/s and blood work.  Then, the transfer will most likely be Friday, but might also be Saturday.  Honestly, Saturday would be better for us as Jake wouldn't have to take a day off, and our sweet little Taylor could go visit with her grandma, AND I will get another day off from driving so far.  BUT..... we will take EITHER day as long as everything keeps looking good. 

Please send positive vibes or prayers for my little eggs... that they grow larger by tomorrow's u/s and that their appearance on the screen makes Dr. B happy.