Here we go again

While on a short camping trip this weekend, good old Aunt Flow decided to show up......this was completely unexpected and caught me completely off guard.  We arrived to the campground Friday afternoon.  Friday evening, I noticed some dark brown tinged blood when I wiped.  I was so confused to what it meant.  I was told to not expect AF for a few more weeks, at least.  I was told that my hcg needed to fall below 0 to even begin CD1.  By Saturday, AF was obviously there to stay.  I called the RE, and he explained that it all seemed normal to him.  He said he could get me in on Monday to see if my body was ready to move forward that cycle, or if we should wait.  I scheduled the appt.  I was surprised to have the chance to do an FET before we got busy this summer, I really didn't think it was going to happen until August or September. 

I saw Dr. B and my favorite nurse, and was given the go ahead to move forward with FET this cycle.  My uterus looked good, no left over debris from the D&C.  No cysts.  My lining was where it should be.  Jake and I decided to go with the natural FET protocol. My RE is 110% supportive of this.  He doesn't see any reason why medicating is going to help me.  I will be unmedicated aside from progesterone and possibly estrogen (depending on my lining around ovulation time).  RE and favorite nurse also strongly believe that I don't even need a trigger shot.  This is the only thing that makes me a little bit nervous, but I'm going to trust them.  They are the professionals, and they know what they are doing (at least I like to hope so).  I've used a trigger shot with every medicated cycle and IVF (6 total) with no success, so it's obviously not the answer.  Basically, I'm going to start using OPK's at home 2x's a day on CD11.  Then, once I see that happy little face, I call the RE's office.  I will go in the following day for a follie scan and blood work. With that info, RE will decide what day to transfer (probably 6-7 days after surge).  I will start my progesterone and possibly estrogen that day as well. 

Surprised.  I'm surprised that this is going to happen this cycle.  I had accepted that we wouldn't get to FET until August, and here we are beginning in May.
Excited.  Excited to try again.  Excited to attempt our next best shot at being pregnant again.
Scared.  Scared that it won't work.  But even MORE scared that it will work, only to end in another M/C.  Scared to death of another D&C. 
Nervous.  Nervous that something will go wrong during the cycle. Nervous that it won't work. Nervous that it might not ever work.
Numb. This is a new feeling for me.  I'm numb from the pain of the last attempt.  I'm numb from the multiple cycles that have all ended with no viable pregnancy. 
Ready. I'm ready to move forward.  Whether that means that we will be successful or not, I'm ready to move on.  Ready to accept the cards we've been dealt.

Estimated dates:
*These are all +/- 3 days as we don't know exactly when I will get my surge, or when my follies will actually be ready. 

4/30 - start OPKs 2x's a day
5/5 - RE appt for blood test & u/s
5/6 - start progesterone and estrogen
5/11 or 5/12 Embryo transfer
5/20 Pregnancy Test