National Infertility Awareness Week...........Secondary Infertility

 

As most of you have probably already seen, or blogged about yourself,it's National Infertility Awareness Week.

I encourage you to share this movement any way possible.  Facebook.  Blog. Instagram. Twitter. Email. Text. Conversation. Whatever speaks to you.

Personally, I've been posting a picture that relates to NIAW or my personal struggle everyday on Instagram and including an infertility fact in the comments.  I'm not usually a hashtag type of gal, but I've been using them hoping that just one person taps on the hashtag and learns a little more of the struggle of infertility.  Some great hashtags for this movement include: #NIAW #infertilityawarenessweek #infertilityawareness #infertility #infertilityhurts

Jake and I began TTC #2 a little over two years ago with NTNP.  We thought it would happen in a snap, just like it did with our little miracle.  Obviously, this wasn't the case.  After 3 months of not trying, but not preventing, we started ATTC.  Every cycle we have been fortunate enough to have perfectly timed intercourse... or picture perfect medicated cycles, but we still haven't brought home a baby. 

One chemical pregnancy, One miscarriage, One D&C, numerous tests, lots of bad news, millions of blood draws, 5 IUI's, one IVF, and billions of tears later we are still fighting. Fighting for what comes so easily to most.  Fighting what seems like a never ending battle.  Fighting for something that may never happen. Fighting for something that is often taken for granted. 

I suffer from secondary infertility. I also have a unicornuate uterus, which is extremely rare and there is still little known about it in the medical field.  We are extremely lucky to have our beautiful daughter.  When I got pregnant, had her, and went through the tough  newborn stage, I had NO IDEA how lucky we were to have her so easily.  I took it for granted.  It wasn't until I had the first consultation with the RE that I realized how lucky I was to be blessed with her.  It was then that the guilt, fear, hurt, and regret set it. I felt guilty for taking any single moment of my pregnancy, and newborn stage for granted.  I felt fear that it will never happen again, and I didn't enjoy that experience enough.  Hurt that I was so naive and unaware of my situation. Hurt that my body was failing me at the "prime" reproductive age of 27. Regret for so many different reasons. 

These are feelings that most fertile women will never endure.  They simply decide they want a second child and within 1-3 cycles their desires are fulfilled. 

I sometimes question my choice to be so open about our journey.  I question it when people give me their naive,uneducated, nonsense advice.  I question it when people brush infertility off.  But, deep down, I feel like if I'm going to struggle with secondary infertility, I want to be an advocate.  I want to do my best to educate the uneducated.  To bring awareness to infertility and secondary infertility.