6 weeks and bleeding

Every single time I use the restroom, I check the TP for blood.  It's a huge fear of mine.  Well, first thing this morning, there was blood.  I sat there in disbelief. Scared to death of what this meant.  Scared to tell Jake.  Scared to look at Taylor and think that I might have to tell her that there is no longer going to be a baby in mommy's tummy.  SCARED SHITLESS!!!!! This was at 6:10a.m.  I told Jake, cried a little bit, Googled  a little bit, and then checked again. The red blood had already subsided to a barely there, brown blood.  This is a good sign, if there is a good sign when bleeding during pregnancy. 

At 7:00a.m., I decided it was time to call the RE's office and see if they could page DR. B.  I was sure he was on his way to work as he started Saturday appts at 8:00 and lived 45 minutes away. Sure enough, I got to chat with him.  At that point he didn't seem worried, but told me I could come in today instead of tomorrow.  I jumped all over that offer.  By noon, I was laying on the table hoping and praying that everything was normal.  Nothing was normal. 

First off, Dr. B thought the sac was very low in the placenta (not good) and that I had a fibriod tumor!!! What the heck?!?  He called in for back up.  Dr. Kumar is supposed to be the techy guru of the bunch.  Dr. Kumar instantly disagreed with Dr. B, and said that the sac was high in the placenta and that it wasn't a fibroid tumor, instead it was a subchronic hemorrhage/hematoma.  Basically, a SCH is a sac of built up blood near the lining of the placenta that needs to disappear.  It can cause bleeding because some of it will "leak" out instead of absorbing into the placenta.  A SCH doesn't necessarily higher the chances of a miscarriage, but it's a "wait and see" kind of game. 

I was very glad to learn that I didn't have a tumor growing, and that the sac wasn't about to jump ship out of my placenta just yet. But, What the F**K did my RE smoke this morning???  And, it's still scary as shit to find out that you have yet another thing to worry about.  Another scary road bump.  I wanted Dr. B, to tell me "ya, everything looks fine, now go home and exercise and carry on your life."  Instead, he seemed nervous.  When I asked him how he felt about the viability, he said it's the same as when we asked him at the transfer, upwards of 50%.  I would like 80%+, but I'll take it over, "you're miscarrying right now". 

Being that I'm only 6w1d pregnant today, I pretty much figured we wouldn't see or hear a heartbeat.  I knew they would look for a good placement of a sac, and a fetal pole. We saw both of those.  So, that's great.  But, there was no heartbeat. From what they led on, neither RE even checked for a heartbeat.  Neither RE even said anything about a heartbeat.  I've been Googling way to much (shame on me) and see many women getting strong HB's at 6 weeks?  Seriously?  I know we didn't hear and see one with Taylor until 8 weeks.  But, I can't help but wonder if it's weird that they didn't mention it????

My restrictions are pelvic rest (aka no sex), no horse riding, no exercise except walking, no unnecessary lifting. That basically means I can lift Taylor when she needs me, but nothing more, and try to have others carry her when possible. 

All in all I'm tying to stay positive.  I'm still pregnant, and it's completely out of my hands. 

Please continue to pray for us.  Please send positive thoughts and prayers that this pregnancy progresses and is viable.  Please pray that the hematoma takes care of itself and has reduced by my appointment in 10 days.  Please pray and send positive vibes that I keep my sanity, and that we can have peace and strength.