longing to live in the moment

Live for the moment.  Live for today.  Live for the present.  Don't think about the past or the future.  Try not to worry about what happened before or what will happen after today, because it will not change the outcome of this moment.  Inhale the good, exhale the bad.  Take what you practice mentally in yoga, and apply it to your real world situations
         ----------- These are all things that both of my yoga teachers repeat over and over and over again during sessions. 

I have become a better yoga student.  I have learned how to use my breath to really bring me to a different state.  I have learned how to truly enjoy savasana at the end of class.  I have learned to value my body for the things it does for me on a daily basis.  I have learned how to listen to my body on any particular day.  But, my problem thus far is that I seem to check it all at the door when I step back into the real world.  What???.....  Not following the teacher's directions?!?  I'm supposed to live in the moment and not dwell on the future or the past, and that will lead me to true inner peace!!! I might get and A for effort during class, but I definitely get an F for applying it to other aspects of my life. 

Learning to let go of the past and not stress about the future is one of the hardest battles for me. I'm a planner.  I'm type A all the way.  I forgive, but I have a hard time forgetting.  I find myself reliving past experiences that bring unwanted emotions.  I fear failure. These qualities make it really hard to live in the moment, like I so long to do.  But, I must say that the practice of yoga, prayer, blogging, and my absence on Facebook is making a difference. 

I must work on applying this to my current situation. On Friday, I will be 7 weeks pregnant.  I haven't had anymore episodes of bleeding, even spotting, since Monday night.  I think I've got over the initial shock of bleeding.  I was living in the moment of panic and worry, and that's okay because that's what was happening at that moment. But, now that I'm not spotting, I need to forget about the past and live in the current moment remembering that TODAY, I AM PREGNANT.   And, instead of worrying  about what I might or might not see at the ultrasound next Tuesday, I just need to bask in the glory that our IVF was successful to this point forward.  I will deal with the ultrasound when that day arrives. 

Of course I can't just flip a switch and make myself become a perfect yogi and consistently find my inner peace, but I can try.  I can take deep cleansing breaths when I find myself worrying about the past or future.  "Inhale the good shit, exhale the bad shit" (I saw this once on a yoga shirt and loved it haha).  I can focus on the now.  Being pregnant.  Have a wonderful, witty, stubborn, beautiful, and loving daughter.  Having an  uber amazing husband.  Having the best mom and dad a girl could ever ask for.  Having some of the best friends in the entire world.  These things are worth living in the moment. 

 

I must say, I do have one amazing little family <3

 

Namaste :)