The aftermath of DnC

My last blog entry was written the day of my D&C, last Thursday.... The rest of that day, I felt pretty good.  I was just sore and felt like my insides had been stripped out (rightfully so).  Friday, was the worst day.  Contractions galore!!!!! Starting around 2pm and lasting throughout the night into the following morning, I experienced contractions that were 6-10 minutes apart and just as painful if not more painful than when I had Taylor.  I think they seemed more painful because of the mental part of it all.  Contractions with Taylor meant I was going to give birth to a beautiful baby.  Contractions after a D&C are just another horrid reminder of the Hell I am living in.  Anywho, I Googled until I was blue in the face if this pain was normal, I called my OB's office, and I asked friends who had a D&C or knew somebody that did if they experienced this pain.  Aside from a few rare people, everybody seemed to say that they just felt dull pain, and usually didn't need the prescription pain killers.  NOT ME!  I had to keep right on top of the vicodin, and OTC anti-inflammatory/pain killers. Even with those, I was in a lot of pain.  The OB's office said it was normal to experience contractions, and as long as the pain didn't worsen or I wasn't bleeding profusely, and didn't have a fever, that I just had to tough it out.... and that I, again, was a rare case. Lovely.

I debated going to the ER room, but decided to tough it out.  It's weird because I have a very high pain tolerance.  And, whenever I've had to take vicodin before, I didn't feel any pain while doped up.  My c-section was by far inferior to this. I just wasn't sure where to draw the line.  I didn't want to stay home and tough it out if something was wrong, but I stayed home.  I've been Vicodin and Xanax free since Sunday evening.  I can still feel the cramping and contractions, but it's more like a normal menstrual period now, and I can tolerate it. I'm still passing a significant amount of tissue, hence the contractions.  But.... the bloating and the weight gain.  OMG.  Again, let's add insult to injury here.  My poor tummy is so swollen and bloated that I cannot comfortably button my fat pants.  I'm living in yoga pants and shirts that hide my belly.  I'm seriously afraid people are going to mistake my swollen tummy for a baby bump.... it really looks like one.  And, I've gained 6 pounds in 6 days.  Yay me :( I know some of it is bloat weight.  Some it of it is definitely from emotional eating and lack of sticking to any type of caloric goal while we went on our mini vacation.....

Oh ya, did I mention that the Saturday after my D&C we left for a 4 day vacation to Anaheim, CA where we spent two days as The Happiest Place on Earth???? I will talk more about that in my next entry.... 

I'm just dealing with a lot of self image and body issues.  I look pregnant.  I feel fat.  I've gained weight. I can't fit into my clothes.  And, I will have nothing but doctor's bills to show for it all.